Marcus Rashford to do 'unthinkable' as Garnacho 'worst fears' loom

Marcus Rashford might be about to do the ‘unthinkable’ while we’re supposed to believe that Alejandro Garnacho joining Napoli would be his nightmare scenario.

Responder

Marcus Rashford is the biggest story in football if you ignore the fact that Tottenham are a basket-case of a football club. Ruben Amorim really does know to create headlines; saying he would rather pick his aged goalkeeper coach was a true gift.

But you know what this isn’t, MailOnline? It’s not a ‘war of words’. Not even close.

You cannot have a ‘war of words’ when one party has literally said nothing since mid-December and has actively briefed that he has no problem with the Manchester United manager.

‘RUBEN’S RASHFORD ROW’ it absolutely is not. Only married couples ‘ROW’ via the medium of one sarcastic comment and stoic, quietly seething silence from the other party.

Indeed, the only thing Rashford has said in recent days is ‘congratulations on the win lads’ or – as some outlets would have it – ‘Marcus Rashford sends message to Man United teammates after he’s axed again’.

The Express go even further, claiming: ‘Marcus Rashford responds immediately after Ruben Amorim lets rip at Man Utd outcast.’

To ‘respond’ is to ‘say or do something as a reaction to something that has been said or done’. He didn’t ‘respond’, did he? He posted an anodyne congratulatory message, probably before he even saw Amorim’s quotes.

‘Many waited eagerly to see whether Rashford would respond. Soon after the game he did, but instead of ramping up his strained relationship with Amorim, he focused on sending a positive message to his team-mates. “Congratulations on the win lads,” he wrote.’

So you ‘waited eagerly’ but he responded ‘immediately’? Almost like it wasn’t a response at all.

Do you know the way to quote Jose?

There’s Marcus gold to mine so the Express pile it on…

‘Erik ten Hag and Jose Mourinho agreed on Marcus Rashford before Ruben Amorim decision’

How long before? Well in Mourinho’s case over six years before.

‘Ruben Amorim has hinted Marcus Rashford’s time at Manchester United is drawing to a close due to concerns that have been echoed by both Jose Mourinho and Erik ten Hag.’

That’s not how echoes work, fellas.

Their source of course is their Reach sister website the Mirror, who opt for this:

‘Erik ten Hag and Jose Mourinho in agreement as Ruben Amorim makes Marcus Rashford decision’

‘As’ is doing a f*** of a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence. As the Mirror concede way too far down the piece:

‘Mourinho famously questioned Rashford’s maturity levels after his tenure with the Red Devils came to a close. Speaking with Hristo Stoichkov after his departure in 2018, the 62-year-old said: “I think kids these days have a different social life than us, and players have around them an entourage, and I mean a personal entourage, the people that surround them, that protect them more, give them more affection, more excuses.”‘

Mourinho then named Rashford along with three other Manchester United players. In 2018. He was only 20; of course he bloody lacked maturity.

The Unthinkable

‘Marcus Rashford could be about to do the unthinkable after being destroyed by Man Utd boss Ruben Amorim’ is quite the headline from GB News, who are invested in bringing down the brazen child-feeder.

What’s ‘unthinkable’? Go on strike? Go postal? Join West Ham? By definition we probably could not think of the lengths to which he could fall…

‘Yet the onus is now on the player to do the unthinkable and dedicate his life to United, a club crying out for the glory days of old.’

Oh do f*** off.

Please God don’t make me leave Man Utd…

Elsewhere in Manchester United clicks land, ‘Ruben Amorim comments confirm Alejandro Garnacho’s worst Man Utd fears’, according to the Mirror.

Are his ‘worst fears’ really that he could have to leave Manchester United and join either Napoli (top of Serie A) or Chelsea (sixth in the Premier League table)? Let’s face it, if he leaves United then he will be failing upwards.

‘Ruben Amorim has hinted that Alejandro Garnacho could leave Manchester United after failing a two-month long task,’ apparently.

First, let’s deal with the ‘hint’; he was directly asked whether Garnacho could leave Manchester United and he said: “That, nobody knows.”

Second, what is this ‘two-month-long (we added the second hyphen ourselves) task’? This was never spelled out by Amorim two months ago and indeed has not been spelled out now.

“Anything can happen. He is improving in every part of the game: the understanding, when to defend. I am trying to find the best position for him, today he played a bit open, not so inside. We need guys who can play one v one.”

So Amorim literally said that Garnacho was “improving” and the Mirror’s takeaway is that Amorim has ‘confirmed’ Garnacho’s ‘worst fears’?

Have we accidentally entered a world where words no longer mean anything at all? It’s not a Reach…

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