English fans named a combined Ashes XI. It’s worse than you could ever imagine

It is the unfathomable Ashes XI that suggests the English have had a little too much sugar in their tea, or an ale too many at the local Wetherspoon.

If you are a fan of the Australian team, you might want to take a seat before considering some of the staggering selections consumers of the English national broadcaster have made when asked to select a combined Ashes XI.

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The shock has little to do with the choice of Joe Root over Steve Smith at No.4 given the championships credentials of the two stars. In a recent survey of Australian cricketers by foxsports.com.au, not surprisingly they gave the nod to their teammate.

But even the most partisan of fans must have consumed Carling by the carton to have come up with an XI weighted heavily in favour of England, with UK fans filling seven of the eleven positions in the BBC TalkSport poll with local favourites.

Joffra Archer is a ferocious fast bowler and well remembered in Australian circles for felling Steve Smith during a remarkable introduction to the Ashes during the 2019 series in England.

But to voluntarily select the 30-year-old, who has struggled for fitness in the six years since then, at No.11 in preference to Josh Hazlewood is indicative of a collective madness in the Old Dart and perhaps the biggest shocker of the lot.

As a reference point, a breakdown of the Test statistics highlights just how wild this choice is, even for the home nation.

Archer has taken 51 wickets in 15 Tests at an average of 30.68, with three five wicket hauls in the 28 innings he has featured in. The “Bendemeer Bullet clearly considered a battler by the English?

The 34-year-old has taken 295 wickets from 76 Tests at an average of 24.21, including 13 five wicket hauls while fighting for wickets in a team featuring Pat Cummins, Mitch Starc and Nathan Lyon. For the record, those three did make the cut.

But hold your horses? Does that mean only one other Aussie was deigned good enough to represent English readers in the XI?

Cameron Green is the man, with the Western Australian earning the nod to bat at No.3 for the BBC, a choice that points to the struggles of English incumbent Ollie Pop given the Aussie may not even start in that position for the Ashes.

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As a reference, the English have opted for Ben Duckett and Zak Crawley over Usman Khawaja and, well, the debate rages on as to who will open for Australia this summer, so that may not necessarily be surprising.

The selection of Harry Brook over Travis Head and Jamie Smith over Alex Carey is contentious, but an argument can be made for the English duo at Nos 5 and 7, with Fox Cricket expert analyst Adam Gilchrist highlighting the battle between the wicket keepers as one with the potential to shape the Ashes.

“I think man for man you can go down the list and match up really important duals,” Gilchrist said at the launch of the Kayo and Fox Sports Summer of Cricket in Parramatta last week.

“The two No.7s are going to be vital to their teams success, both in front of the stumps and behind the stumps.They are so vitally important.

“And it is not just about how you bat with the top six. There is a real skill in being able to bat with your bottom four and I think Alex Carey does that really well. He chimes in beautifully with the tail. There are so many valuable runs that (come from that), so I think those bottom four partnerships are important.

“Smith is powerful. He is a big, tall guy with a power game and he loves to be aggressive. I think Australian crowds are going to love the way he plays.

“They are probably going to feel the brunt of his force and his power at some point, but also love the vulnerability there, because with that risk comes opportunity for the opposition. He’s a really enticing cricketer.

“The England selectors have shown great faith in him, in getting him in. They have almost fast-tracked him to the team without a huge back catalogue of work and they really trust what he brings.

“I think it is going to be a great match up. The No 4s match up well, with Smith and Root, but I’ll be watching closely the way the two keepers go to work.”

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