Woman abused by top GAA ref tells how he showed up at her wedding: 'I learned to be around him

Woman abused by top GAA ref tells how he showed up at her wedding: 'I learned to be around him - that changed'

Brave Maeve Leahy waived her right to anonymity so her uncle-in-law, Thomas Howard could be named.

A woman abused by her GAA ref uncle-in-law when she was a child has told how he turned up at her wedding.

Former GAA referee Thomas Howard has been handed a prison sentence of over six years for indecently assaulting his niece when she was just three or four years old until she reached puberty.

Brave Maeve Leahy waived her right to anonymity so her uncle-in-law, Thomas Howard could be named.

Maeve told how she feels like she received justice with the sentence, and hoped that her coming forward could help others to speak out about suffering from abuse.

The 79-year-old former GAA referee was sentenced to six years and nine months in prison Thursday after pleading guilty to a litany of offences from the mid-80s, including indecently assaulting Maeve and coercing her into sexual contact from three or four years of age until she reached puberty.

Some of the assaults are understood to have taken place at a time when Howard was working as a GAA referee. Howard was the referee for the All-Ireland Football Final between Derry and Cork in 1993, as well as the referee for a number of matches between Meath and Dublin in 1991.

"Reading other people's stories before, every time I read them stories, I was like, oh my God, isn't that great that they did that and maybe someday I might be able to do that.

"And, you know, just reading other people's stories that they're able to come out and, and talk about it openly and not like that. It's not a secret anymore is amazing. And was that an important part of it that you had been carrying the secret for so long and you're able to let it go? "When you're carrying a secret from a very young age, like, you learn to live your life around that secret. So when the secret eventually consumed me and I just had to get rid of it. Yes, I did confide in a couple of friends along the way. And that I was very close at the time, like, so I did confide in them for someone to talk to, but very few people I told. I just said I was in that I was being abused. I never ever went into detail.

Maeve told how she had a happy childhood apart from the abuse: "I had a great childhood. In fairness, I had an amazing family. I have great memories and they were just, they're just astonished by what was going on in the background.

"Other than that, I had a great childhood, great memories, great family. We always went places together. We did everything as a family, so yeah, no, I had a really good family, a good upbringing, but with this shadow over, yeah."

"And like I trusted him because we were all one big family unit. As I said, we were always together. So, yeah, he, he broke the trust that I had.

"And he wasn't just your uncle, he was a figure of some prominence in the community. And, as I said, it consumed... eventually consumed me. I had like, I just couldn't carry it anymore.

"And some of my family members died, you know, so like I was protecting this great big ball of family. And then some some family members died and said the wall got weaker. And then, when the wall got weaker, then I started to crumble myself. So then I started to reach out to my family members.

"I told my family, and then it just the wall fell down. After one of my brother's wedding, I just, it just caught on top of me and I just couldn't carry it any longer, he was at weddings, He was at my own wedding, you know, so like he was part of the family, you know, he was at all the parties.

"He was at the wedding, as I said, he was at my own wedding. Like I was, I was always around him. So I learned to be around him and not sad.: That changed.. It only changed in the last 3 years."

Maeve told of the support she got that helped her cope: "I went to my own doctor and my doctor then sent me in the right direction. And so I attend a counselling service, the national council Service of Ireland. And they have been my counsellor has been brilliant.

"You can go to a safe space and talk about it and get yourself help without actually naming your abuser until you're ready to, or if you ever get ready, so some people will never be able to, but you don't have to. You can still go and get the help you need without actually naming your abuser.

"All the charges, like they were lay out like that was hard. It was hard because my family, my family never heard the details, and so it was hard to sit there and know that my family was sitting there listening. They were so upset.

"You can see that and members of your family were with you in court and you could see that a lot of them were obviously very upset with the whole process."

Asked what advice she would give other victims she said: "Don't be afraid. There's so much help out there, and you can get the help you need to get strong, to overcome, whatever difficulties you have.

"I kept saying I have to do this for little Maeve because she couldn't speak. She couldn't do anything, and she was so young, but I could do it now for her, and I did OK."

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