‘Licking his lips’: Cocky Poms not scared of ‘vulnerable’ Aussies as UK hits back amid ‘purile’ swipe

On Wednesday, Australia released its 15-man squad for the first Test in Perth, and it hasn’t taken the Poms long to have their say.

From labelling Australia’s squad as “Dad’s Army”, to Jofra Archer metaphorically “licking his lips”, all signs you would think point towards an emphatic English victory on our shores this summer.

But, when The West Australian threw in their own two cents while welcoming Ben Stokes and his side to our shores, the old enemy were far less pleased.

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‘DAD’S ARMY’: AUSSIES WHACKED OVER DEMOGRAPHIC, ‘TAKING A DART’ ON NEW OPENER

There were plenty of winners once Australia’s Ashes squad dropped on Wednesday, such as Jake Weatherald or Brendan Doggett. But judging by the English media’s reaction, they’re the true winners.

Both The Telegraph and Daily Mail suggested that England quick Jofra Archer will be “licking his lips” over the squad reveal, while both refered to Australia as ‘Dad’s Army’ given its older profile.

“It is as if the Australia selectors picked their squad with a plan to please Jofra Archer by ignoring his potency against left-handers,” The Telegraph’s Nick Hoult began.

“It throws an untested opening partnership into the mix. It also pairs two left-handers against the new ball and that means Archer when he is at his freshest.

“Pitches in Australia have changed dramatically in recent years and the extra plastic stitching on the Kookaburra ball has given it more life too.

“This has been to the benefit of Australia’s fast-bowling greats Josh Hazlewood, Pat Cummins and Mitchell Starc, but it has undermined their batsmen, which is why their selectors are taking a dart on Weatherald, who averages 37.6 in first-class cricket.”

Meanwhile, the Daily Mail’s Lawrence Booth wrote that Australia’s selection had “done little to quieten the theory” that its greatest weakness is at the top of the order, writing that the team is “vulnerable”.

His analysis ran with the headline: “Jofra Archer will be licking his lips looking at this Dad’s Army Australia Ashes squad”.

England legend Mike Atherton was more restrained in his criticism, but stressed a similar point in his own column for The Times.

He wrote that Australian selectors were guilty of “muddled thinking” over its openers given that no batting partner for Usman Khawaja has been confirmed.

“... it seems remarkable that weeks before one of the most anticipated Ashes series, Australia still don’t know what their combination is or will be,” Atherton wrote.

“Whatever happens over the next few months, that is not a good look for the selection panel.

“While England’s selectors have held their nerve, pushing back against calls at various stages to drop Zak Crawley, Australia’s panel have been searching fruitlessly for a solution.”

It’s worth noting that Crawley, their longstanding opener with 59 Tests next to his name — averages 32.2 at first-class level with one less hundred to his name than his Tasmanian counterpart Weatherald.

Australia’s uncertainty around who will partner Khawaja up top this Ashes series is no secret. It remains the biggest question within their team structure, and the answer will be determined by a player in the side who doesn’t even open — Cameron Green.

Either Marnus Labuschagne or the uncapped Weatherald will opens in Perth, depending on whether Green is picked as a specialist bat or batting all-rounder.

But as Atherton writes, the conundrum up top detracts from a seperate issue facing Australia at the top of the order — the age of Khawaja.

“At 38 — he turns 39 during the third Test in Adelaide — Khawaja has looked short of his best at the highest level for some time, especially against bowlers with an extra yard of pace, as England’s attack is likely to have if Jofra Archer and Mark Wood are fit,” he wrote.

FOUL PLAY OR FAIR PLAY? WEST AUSTRALIAN’S BRUTAL STOKES SLEDGE DIVIDES

It wouldn’t be an Ashes summer without some provoking headlines, whether they be in Australia or the UK.

England captain Ben Stokes was ‘welcomed’ by the West Australian less than 24 hours after he and teammates touched down in Perth, with the front page of the publication reading ‘Baz Bawl’, accompanied with a photo of him at the airport.

Its subtext read: “England’s cocky captain complainer, still smarting from ‘crease-gate’, lands in Perth early thinking dopey ‘BazBall’ can take the Ashes.”

As expected, it caused an outcry across the UK media landscape — but not all feedback was negative.

Former England captain Michael Atherton didn’t mind the jabs at all, speaking to Sky Sports News.

“That was a stone-cold classic of a headline from the Western Australian,” Atherton said.

“I love the fact that it started with ‘New Zealand-born Ben Stokes and all the classic attack lines were in that piece. It’s knockabout stuff. Every England team or captain gets it when you get over there, but there is something about Bazball that seems to get under the Australian skin.

“Stuart Broad bore the brunt of it in the Brisbane Courier Mail when they refused to put his image on the pages of the newspaper.

“So it’s all par for the course and good fun. England will just have to prove themselves.”

Former England star Stuart Broad opted for a more tongue-in-cheek approach on his podcast Love Of Cricket, hosted alongside long-time teammate Jos Buttler.

“Engalnd’s cocky captain complainer... I mean, they’re 50 per cent right with that, because he’s England’s captain!” Broad said.

“I’ve actually seen a message from him with 18-20 laughing faces underneath that headline, which feels like he’s quite relaxed at the minute.”

But not everyone from the other side of the Ashes rivalry were so relaxed about the newspaper jab.

The Sun’s John Etheridge wrote: “Nothing wrong with a bit of knockabout Pommie-bashing fun in the papers. But it needs to be clever, humorous and based loosely on truth.

“This is none of these. It’s just puerile.”

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